My daughter is on to a new chapter of her life today. The college years. I am, of course, excited and proud of her, but struggling with the idea that she won't be a regular part of my life anymore - though, of course, she and her brother are always on my mind, as Willie Nelson might say.
It's going to be thrilling to see how she grows - I expect by leaps and bounds. This growth is going to come from facing and handling challenges, mainly on her own. I am comforted by the idea that she is going to be at Gallaudet with a group of kids that she knows well, having grown up with them at the California School for the Deaf - Fremont.
Getting a college education in the capital of the US and being exposed to all the East Coast has to offer is a terrific opportunity. She is also getting the chance to make new friends from Deaf kids from all over the country as well as the world. This is seriously cool stuff.
I hope she has the time of her life....I hope I can stand not having her around to tease, to kiss, to hug, to argue with, to be inspired by, to laugh with, to play with, to parent, to love...
Here a little video of how Miranda and I celebrated her birthday yesterday and said good bye to her childhood:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6ovACGoz-Y
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Afternoon Shopping
Okay, I'm not big into shopping. No big surprise, but I thought I should take my daughter out to buy a fall jacket or some boots or a laptop bag or all of the above because I know she's going to need these items for her first semester at Gallaudet University. Plus, it's Miranda's birthday on Wednesday and she turns 18, so I thought this mini-shopping spree could be considered birthday gifts.
However, visits to two shopping centers and multiple big and small stores rendered no purchases, other than a green tea ice cream cone. Miranda didn't like any thing we found. Most often saying that's for "old ladies." She tried to talk me into visiting Ross for Less at the Fremont Hub, but I can't handle Ross on a Sunday, especially after all the shopping we'd already done. So we compromised. We went to the Olive Garden for dinner and had a nice meal.
The best part of our time together was watching American's Funniest Videos...A show that been on virtually her entire life and has always been fun to watch together as a family. It's a very Deaf friendly show. Miranda never fails to laugh at the misadventures of cats, dogs, and kids displayed on the show....and it warms my heart to the core to see her so full of joy.
Now, I'm down to one more visit with Miranda before she leaves for Washington, DC (stopping for a visit in Toronto to see her grandparents before she begins college).
However, visits to two shopping centers and multiple big and small stores rendered no purchases, other than a green tea ice cream cone. Miranda didn't like any thing we found. Most often saying that's for "old ladies." She tried to talk me into visiting Ross for Less at the Fremont Hub, but I can't handle Ross on a Sunday, especially after all the shopping we'd already done. So we compromised. We went to the Olive Garden for dinner and had a nice meal.
The best part of our time together was watching American's Funniest Videos...A show that been on virtually her entire life and has always been fun to watch together as a family. It's a very Deaf friendly show. Miranda never fails to laugh at the misadventures of cats, dogs, and kids displayed on the show....and it warms my heart to the core to see her so full of joy.
Now, I'm down to one more visit with Miranda before she leaves for Washington, DC (stopping for a visit in Toronto to see her grandparents before she begins college).
Thursday, August 13, 2009
A Week from Today...
In a week, my daughter will fly with her mother and brother from Northern California to Toronto, where she was born and spent the first five years of her life. Then a week later she will go to Washington, DC to begin her life as a college student at Gallaudet University. This is going to be a big transition for her and for her family.
After 13 years at the California School for the Deaf, my Miranda is following the path to higher education that we've imagine for her entire childhood. It's hard to believe it's finally happening. It's a time of milestones for her: graduating high school, turning 18, and going off to college. She is excited and nervous - let's call it "excitous." And I'm happy for her and proud of her, but dreading the idea of only seeing her a few times a year. I'm a dad who is "gladsad."
After 13 years at the California School for the Deaf, my Miranda is following the path to higher education that we've imagine for her entire childhood. It's hard to believe it's finally happening. It's a time of milestones for her: graduating high school, turning 18, and going off to college. She is excited and nervous - let's call it "excitous." And I'm happy for her and proud of her, but dreading the idea of only seeing her a few times a year. I'm a dad who is "gladsad."
Thursday, July 16, 2009
A Mundane but Lovely Evening...
I forgot what used to be normal for me. Coming home from a long day of work and seeing my little kids. Rarely was I greeted like the "conqueroring hero" but I was greeted by smiling, often dirty, but very cute faces. Now, that they're older and live with their mom, I don't have this experience...funny how it slips away, these times and you don't even know that they've left until you get a sweet reminder.
All that to say, it was really nice to come home tonight and find my daughter Miranda relaxing on my couch watching a DVD on the TV. I got a nice smile from a cute face that wasn't the least bit dirty, framed by blonde locks.
We had a plan to play some basketball and then come home for burritos for dinner. So I dashed upstairs and changed into shorts and put on my new basketball shoes. Miranda flipped off her sandals and jumped into her old basketball shoes - that I teased her, saying they still looked like new. She confessed she hadn't worn them or played basketball in a couple of years. I loved watching her play on the CSDF girls' teams in junior high and her freshman and sophomore years high school. She wasn't talented but she was tenacious with good anticipation. Her last two years of high school, she chose to do acting in the school's spring play instead of playing hoop. Being a theatre person, I really enjoyed see her work on stage, too.
So as I was shooting around with her on a school blacktop, I asked which she preferred, "Drama or basketball." She shrugged and said she didn't know. I was surprised. I thought she would have picked drama because she had so much fun and did so well. She said, "I miss playing defense." I laughed. She's only 5'3" and I told her she was too short to play basketball. Then I asked her why she was so short...as if she could have done something about it. She pointed the finger back at me. "It's your family's fault!" She said something to the effect of I got my blond hair from my mother and everything else from you. Okay.
While we continued to just shoot around, we chatted about college life and Gallaudet. I warned her that she might gain weight when she goes away to school. She said she knew about the freshman 15 pounds. Then she told me she didn't like Gallaudet U's cafeteria food. She said it wasn't as healthy as CSDF. She knows because she's stayed in Gallaudet's dorms 3 times for the Hoy and Clerc tournaments and a volleyball camp she attended. It's kind of a relief knowing she knows the campus somewhat already. In six weeks or so, it will be her home away from home.
I asked her if she cried when her boyfriend left on Tuesday for his parents' home in Minnesota. She said she did. I couldn't resist another tease. "You're a big baby!" She laughed and said she wasn't...my big baby signs turned into an African dance she once did on stage at CSDF years ago. She laughed at me again.
Tonight's malaprop - when trying to sign "goat" I signed something quite bizarre that had Miranda scrunching up her face with wonderment. When I fingerspelled "goat", she signed it correctly and we both laughed at how far off I was from signing it. Oh, well, goat doesn't come up often in my limited ASL conversations, so I tend to forget those types of words, but I think I remember and invariably then end up signing something extremely ridiculous. Oh, well, such is my daughter's cross to bear: she has a ASL-challenged, stupid hearing Dad.
After awhile Miranda said she was tired and hungry so we came home for dinner. I made some burritos and she actually liked them. No complaints, even though I didn't have all the condiments that are usually provided at her mother's house: namely salsa and sour cream.
It was a really nice, quiet, mundane evening...I know I'm going wish I had a few more like these come September.
All that to say, it was really nice to come home tonight and find my daughter Miranda relaxing on my couch watching a DVD on the TV. I got a nice smile from a cute face that wasn't the least bit dirty, framed by blonde locks.
We had a plan to play some basketball and then come home for burritos for dinner. So I dashed upstairs and changed into shorts and put on my new basketball shoes. Miranda flipped off her sandals and jumped into her old basketball shoes - that I teased her, saying they still looked like new. She confessed she hadn't worn them or played basketball in a couple of years. I loved watching her play on the CSDF girls' teams in junior high and her freshman and sophomore years high school. She wasn't talented but she was tenacious with good anticipation. Her last two years of high school, she chose to do acting in the school's spring play instead of playing hoop. Being a theatre person, I really enjoyed see her work on stage, too.
So as I was shooting around with her on a school blacktop, I asked which she preferred, "Drama or basketball." She shrugged and said she didn't know. I was surprised. I thought she would have picked drama because she had so much fun and did so well. She said, "I miss playing defense." I laughed. She's only 5'3" and I told her she was too short to play basketball. Then I asked her why she was so short...as if she could have done something about it. She pointed the finger back at me. "It's your family's fault!" She said something to the effect of I got my blond hair from my mother and everything else from you. Okay.
While we continued to just shoot around, we chatted about college life and Gallaudet. I warned her that she might gain weight when she goes away to school. She said she knew about the freshman 15 pounds. Then she told me she didn't like Gallaudet U's cafeteria food. She said it wasn't as healthy as CSDF. She knows because she's stayed in Gallaudet's dorms 3 times for the Hoy and Clerc tournaments and a volleyball camp she attended. It's kind of a relief knowing she knows the campus somewhat already. In six weeks or so, it will be her home away from home.
I asked her if she cried when her boyfriend left on Tuesday for his parents' home in Minnesota. She said she did. I couldn't resist another tease. "You're a big baby!" She laughed and said she wasn't...my big baby signs turned into an African dance she once did on stage at CSDF years ago. She laughed at me again.
Tonight's malaprop - when trying to sign "goat" I signed something quite bizarre that had Miranda scrunching up her face with wonderment. When I fingerspelled "goat", she signed it correctly and we both laughed at how far off I was from signing it. Oh, well, goat doesn't come up often in my limited ASL conversations, so I tend to forget those types of words, but I think I remember and invariably then end up signing something extremely ridiculous. Oh, well, such is my daughter's cross to bear: she has a ASL-challenged, stupid hearing Dad.
After awhile Miranda said she was tired and hungry so we came home for dinner. I made some burritos and she actually liked them. No complaints, even though I didn't have all the condiments that are usually provided at her mother's house: namely salsa and sour cream.
It was a really nice, quiet, mundane evening...I know I'm going wish I had a few more like these come September.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Bowling
One of the great activities that Deaf and hearing families and friends can participate in together without a problem (stress, intervention, hassle) is bowling.
Yesterday, we celebrated cousin Giovanni's birthday with a little bowling at Mowry Lanes in Fremont. It can be a little pricey with shoe rental now at $4 a pair and $3 or $4 a person per game, but I usually go with a 99-cents-per-game-for-10-games coupon. Depending upon how many people go, it can be around $25 for a couple of hours of entertainment.
Both my kids were in bowling leagues when they were younger and they still enjoy rolling the rock, though Miranda gets bored with it relatively quickly. She invariably starts acting silly after only a few frames. Yesterday, she had her boyfriend Dack as a teammate. The silliness was only delayed a couple of frames. They had their share of gutter balls, but I don't think they were too concerned about winning.
Miranda had the honor of rolling the first strike of the day and she let us all know it. Unfortunately, it was also her only strike of the day. Not that she really cared that much. View it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jleSXuR6lwc
Yesterday, we celebrated cousin Giovanni's birthday with a little bowling at Mowry Lanes in Fremont. It can be a little pricey with shoe rental now at $4 a pair and $3 or $4 a person per game, but I usually go with a 99-cents-per-game-for-10-games coupon. Depending upon how many people go, it can be around $25 for a couple of hours of entertainment.
Both my kids were in bowling leagues when they were younger and they still enjoy rolling the rock, though Miranda gets bored with it relatively quickly. She invariably starts acting silly after only a few frames. Yesterday, she had her boyfriend Dack as a teammate. The silliness was only delayed a couple of frames. They had their share of gutter balls, but I don't think they were too concerned about winning.
Miranda had the honor of rolling the first strike of the day and she let us all know it. Unfortunately, it was also her only strike of the day. Not that she really cared that much. View it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jleSXuR6lwc
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Summer Days
It's been three weeks since she graduated high school and Miranda has stayed busy. The first week she worked at CSDF as part of the annual end of the year clean-up crew. Then she spent the second week hanging out with her boyfriend Dack and getting her four wisdom teeth removed.
The past week was spent recovering from wisdom teeth removal. She showed me the 4 removed teeth and that totally grossed me out. One evening when her cheeks were still swollen, I took her to Jamba Juice for "dinner."
On Wednesday eve when she was feeling almost fully recovered from her wisdom teeth extraction, I drove Miranda and Dack to Stoneridge Mall to "window shop" at the Apple Store. I had agreed to buy her a MacBook for a graduation gift and because she'd need one for college. [I videotaped some of our experience using her graduation gift to myself - a Flip camcorder. I made it into a little movie using the Flip software that came with it. For $200, this is a killer product that makes video so much easier. And the quality's excellent. Check it out on YouTube here: http://www.youtube.com/user/PsychicRich#play/all/uploads-all/0/6VcpmqY5Wvc]
I wasn't really planning to buy the laptop yet, because I wanted to shop around, but my Apple-expert friend said there weren't really any better deals than the $50 college student discount Apple was offering. In addition to that, Apple was also offering college students a "free" iPod Touch with the purchase of a laptop. So needless to say Apple got my credit card and we left the store (as documented) with both a new MacBook and an iPod Touch.
I was skeptcial about how useful an iPod would be to my deaf daughter, but she showed me there were lots of other features on the Touch version in addition to iTunes...photos, games, etc. I figured she could at least share it with her brother...that was he's expectation too, when he found out about it. His enthusiasm is tempered by his life experience with her though, "You know, how she is sometimes...'Mine!'" I had to laugh at that. This is true... They may be adults but your kids are still kids, sometimes, eh?
Next week Randi goes back to CSDF to work as an aide for summer school...And next month, August 19 she turns 18 and then around August 25, she goes to Washington, DC to begin her college career. No, I'm not ready yet to believe that's actually going to happen.
The past week was spent recovering from wisdom teeth removal. She showed me the 4 removed teeth and that totally grossed me out. One evening when her cheeks were still swollen, I took her to Jamba Juice for "dinner."
On Wednesday eve when she was feeling almost fully recovered from her wisdom teeth extraction, I drove Miranda and Dack to Stoneridge Mall to "window shop" at the Apple Store. I had agreed to buy her a MacBook for a graduation gift and because she'd need one for college. [I videotaped some of our experience using her graduation gift to myself - a Flip camcorder. I made it into a little movie using the Flip software that came with it. For $200, this is a killer product that makes video so much easier. And the quality's excellent. Check it out on YouTube here: http://www.youtube.com/user/PsychicRich#play/all/uploads-all/0/6VcpmqY5Wvc]
I wasn't really planning to buy the laptop yet, because I wanted to shop around, but my Apple-expert friend said there weren't really any better deals than the $50 college student discount Apple was offering. In addition to that, Apple was also offering college students a "free" iPod Touch with the purchase of a laptop. So needless to say Apple got my credit card and we left the store (as documented) with both a new MacBook and an iPod Touch.
I was skeptcial about how useful an iPod would be to my deaf daughter, but she showed me there were lots of other features on the Touch version in addition to iTunes...photos, games, etc. I figured she could at least share it with her brother...that was he's expectation too, when he found out about it. His enthusiasm is tempered by his life experience with her though, "You know, how she is sometimes...'Mine!'" I had to laugh at that. This is true... They may be adults but your kids are still kids, sometimes, eh?
Next week Randi goes back to CSDF to work as an aide for summer school...And next month, August 19 she turns 18 and then around August 25, she goes to Washington, DC to begin her college career. No, I'm not ready yet to believe that's actually going to happen.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Father's Day Make-Up
Life is filled with ups and downs...and this past weekend was kind of a downer. The previous weekend was filled with joy and pride as my Miranda graduated high school with a flourish. I had expectations that this weekend would be nice too, with the celebration of Father's Day.
Well, I guess the best way to describe this past Sunday was a day for learning...or an opportunity to learn. I don't want to get into the details, but I was very disappointed that I did not see my kids until very late in the day. They made some choices and perhaps had good intentions but things didn't pan out the way any of us had hoped.
I know teenagers are infamous for their self-centeredness and it's just a stage they all go through, but that doesn't mean you can't call them on it. Make them aware, that "Hey, it's Father's Day!" I only have expectations from my kids 3 days out of the year: Christmas, Father's Day and my birthday. If they can't pull it together on those 3 days, then I feel obligated to remind them that I have to be a "priority" with them or I'm going to be really annoyed (code for the seemingly unmanly "hurt feelings.")
Let's just say that Father's Day gave me the opportunity to remind the kids of one of my favorite lessons: that life will go a lot better for them if they "do what the NEED to do FIRST, and what the WANT to do SECOND."
I was happy to smooth things over with my son Terence that night. And happy that Miranda texted me yesterday to say she was "sorry for what happened." This evening Miranda made up for the Father's Day slight be making me a home-made pizza from scratch. And we enjoyed the delicious chocolate cake Terence made for me for dessert. So all's forgiven...
While eating, Miranda informed me that she has been assigned a dorm room at Gallaudet University. Oh, yes, that's looming out there...my little girl going away...She has also decided on what kind of laptop she wants as a graduation gift...MacBook. Oy! I don't want to think about her going away yet...
Tomorrow, Miranda goes in for oral surgery. She's having four wisdom teeth removed. She is a little nervous about being put under. Here's hoping she doesn't suffer too much. She is excited about having an excuse to eat lots of ice cream, yogurt and jello...
Well, I guess the best way to describe this past Sunday was a day for learning...or an opportunity to learn. I don't want to get into the details, but I was very disappointed that I did not see my kids until very late in the day. They made some choices and perhaps had good intentions but things didn't pan out the way any of us had hoped.
I know teenagers are infamous for their self-centeredness and it's just a stage they all go through, but that doesn't mean you can't call them on it. Make them aware, that "Hey, it's Father's Day!" I only have expectations from my kids 3 days out of the year: Christmas, Father's Day and my birthday. If they can't pull it together on those 3 days, then I feel obligated to remind them that I have to be a "priority" with them or I'm going to be really annoyed (code for the seemingly unmanly "hurt feelings.")
Let's just say that Father's Day gave me the opportunity to remind the kids of one of my favorite lessons: that life will go a lot better for them if they "do what the NEED to do FIRST, and what the WANT to do SECOND."
I was happy to smooth things over with my son Terence that night. And happy that Miranda texted me yesterday to say she was "sorry for what happened." This evening Miranda made up for the Father's Day slight be making me a home-made pizza from scratch. And we enjoyed the delicious chocolate cake Terence made for me for dessert. So all's forgiven...
While eating, Miranda informed me that she has been assigned a dorm room at Gallaudet University. Oh, yes, that's looming out there...my little girl going away...She has also decided on what kind of laptop she wants as a graduation gift...MacBook. Oy! I don't want to think about her going away yet...
Tomorrow, Miranda goes in for oral surgery. She's having four wisdom teeth removed. She is a little nervous about being put under. Here's hoping she doesn't suffer too much. She is excited about having an excuse to eat lots of ice cream, yogurt and jello...
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